who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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