New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Moan for me like Helen Keller
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
