I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
