Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
