Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
