bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
