I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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