his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
