If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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