Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
FUCK WHALES
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
