i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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