sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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