haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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