Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
