On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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