i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
