Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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