I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
