i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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