And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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