I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
