just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
