I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
