Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
