This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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