The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
