Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
