i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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