Joe is yelling at the trees again.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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