Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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