I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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