Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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