I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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