I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
