If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
