Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
They took my balls.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
