i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
