yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
