I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize