You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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