How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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