I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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