I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
