i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
