The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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