I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
