where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
