I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
