Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
