I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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